Waiting for the Fat Lady

Well, it's almost over. I don't know what song the fat lady will sing, but sing she will.

It's the eve of Election Day, and just about every poll and computer simulation I've looked at on the web has Obama ahead by a comfortable margin.

In other words, it's too close to call. Given the recent comedy that's been the Republican Presidential Campaign, I was tempted to title this post something like "The Sinking Ship of Fools," but I decided that would be way too smug. Given the results of the past two elections (not to mention an even longer prior history of unpleasant surprises for liberals like me, e.g., the re-elections of Nixon in '72 and Reagan in '84), the comedy could in the end turn out to be of the dark variety. And so I find my imagination drifting to nightmare scenarios. Here are two:

1. Some of my more cynical neighbors in Nørrebro are sure that Obama will win the election−but will be assassinated before he can be sworn in. Given the vitriol that's poured out from some quarters at the very prospect of an Obama presidency, I've been hard-pressed to insist it can't happen. But as horrifying and tragic as that would be, I have an even more frightening dream:

2. McCain wins−and then he gets shot. Or about six months into his term, he goes down with a sudden "heart attack." Who's to know? Who would ever be able to prove that the death of the oldest President-elect in our history was anything but "natural" for a man his age? And thus a woman who is barely qualified to Chair a PTA meeting, who is so unschooled in basic principles of constitutional law she thinks the intent of the First Amendment is to shield politicians who spew bullshit from criticism by the press for it, becomes President of the US. Personally, I wouldn't put it past her. To those who think Obama is "scary"−welcome to my nightmare....